We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
