i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
