you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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