Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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