is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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