So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
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