those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
