dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
