Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
