We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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