How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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