so explain again why im purple
no
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Sext me about skeletons
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
