I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
We got so high we made milksteak
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
