I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
