Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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