I'm drive I can fine osifer
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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