he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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