is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
