I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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