Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
