We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
