Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Randomize
