I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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