...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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