Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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