Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
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