I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
