you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
