I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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