He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
