I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
