nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
