what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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