How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
