I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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