It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
