Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
