I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
this just has baby written all over it
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
