Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
