real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
there is glitter all over my balls
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