So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
