i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
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