It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Randomize
