If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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