The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
