Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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