i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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