are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize
