3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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