Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
